Practice #8: Give Freely

It’s confession time: giving freely is by far the hardest of all the Christian Practices in our guide for me. I was raised in a home where scarcity was the constant mentality, even though we lived fairly comfortably. From a young age I had to work hard to get my small allowance that I had to use to buy all my own necessities like shoes, clothing, school supplies, and even my daily lunch at school. I was not automatically given these things, but had to earn them every week, so I had to budget very carefully, which meant I often skipped meals if there was something else I needed that week or that month. In high school I had to work an outside job so I could afford to drive and in college I had to pay my own way. In fact, while away at college, I’m proud of the fact that I was never sent even one dollar from my parents towards my day to day living expenses, I had to support myself completely with odd jobs. While it taught me to be very responsible growing up, this meant that I was always left in the position of never feeling safe, or like I had enough. I had to go without and sometimes went hungry. In seminary and grad school I earned scholarships to help pay my way, but in the summer, when student housing closed, I found myself temporarily homeless a few times, having to stay with friends and family, and feeling excessively stressed about it. I know I did not have it that bad, in fact, I was actually very fortunate in comparison to many others, but it did create anxiety for me around money from a young age.

The good thing is that I’ve learned to be content with little and I know how to budget and stick to it. The bad thing is that I really struggle to let go of the worry I carry around about maybe not having enough, never knowing if there will be a financial crisis up ahead, and I struggle to be generous and truly “give freely,” as if I can’t break out of the needy mentality. Maybe some of you can relate. I find though, that this fear has held me hostage. It’s hard to be the “cheerful giver” I long to be because anxiety rushes over me when it comes to giving. I’m the type of person that has to think long and hard about spending even $10 on something I had not planned for ahead.

Jesus’ words then in our Gospel are both comforting and challenging when he says, “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” I love this passage, but I also find it so hard to apply.

There’s an old song by Carol Owens that goes, ‘'Freely, freely, you have received. Freely, freely give.” Our eighth practice, “Give Freely” and is inspired by these words. Please know that Jesus is not giving us some glib comment though, like “Don’t worry, be happy.” This word “worry” in the Greek means to be preoccupied or absorbed by something. It is too easy to let the preoccupations of this life and our needs narrow our focus, until we find ourselves in worry’s grip. Jesus wants more for us than that.

Of course, not worrying doesn’t mean that we should be irresponsible or not work hard. It simply means that in the final analysis, we are not to allow ourselves to be gripped by worry and fear about our daily needs, because life is far too important for that and our time on earth is meant for much, much bigger things. We don’t need to worry because God, who cares for the birds and the lilies, cares for us, so that we can care about more important things…like the kingdom of God.

This past Thursday a homeless couple came to the office to get some food cards. They were unusually joyful and positive. I asked the young man about his situation and he said, “Well, we just moved back here from Arizona because a job we thought we had fell through.” “Oh, I’m so sorry” I said, meaning it. He smiled and said to me, “Oh don’t be sorry, even though we’re homeless, God is still taking good care of us and I’m learning a lot about what it means to depend on God now. I never knew what homelessness was like, but I see now that God is good even in the midst of it.” This young man was teaching me about letting go and not worrying, even in the midst of what most of us would consider to be one of the worst crises we could imagine.
Like this young man, if we could really see all that God has given us and is already doing for us, how we have freely received so much; it would help us to freely give. I am inspired by what I believe is one of the most profound prayers ever spoken, a prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi. They are words I aspire to. Part of what he says in that prayer is this: “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive.”

In this prayer we are taken one step further: not only do we give freely because we have received so much from God, but we give because we receive so much back when we do. (And I don’t mean we get a new car or a bigger house…I mean we get blessed in deeper ways, we get the treasure that lasts, not the stuff that rusts.) As Jesus said, it IS more blessed to give than to receive.

The question we must settle between us and God then, is how and in what ways we will give. The primary means by which a Christian gives back to God is through their church in a weekly, monthly, or annual pledge and donations. Beyond that we ought to be giving to others in need and to those causes that God puts on our hearts. And while it’s easy to make excuses not to give to strangers begging from us, it is hard to ignore Jesus’ words from last week’s Gospel lesson, “Give to everyone who begs from you.” There’s not much wiggle room in that, so we have to figure out how to live that call out. Maybe we don’t have much to give, but we all have something we can give. Some of our regular homeless visitors have come to the church and given me a gift they said they didn’t need. Some of our refugees will cook and bring me food for me from time to time. I have an angel mug that I use with my morning tea that was found and washed and then lovingly given to me by a homeless friend here in El Cajon. As a church, the pastoral account is set aside for charitable purposes and there are at least two parishioners that give faithfully to it now every month, in addition to the small monthly funding we get from our budget (because it is a totally separate bank account). Those donations fund the food cards we give away to the hungry and help others in need to pay for utility or medical bills or a motel room when it’s too cold or they’re sick. If you are uncomfortable giving away cash, you can give something to the pastoral account and then invite those who ask for your help to visit our office to get a food card. Another strategy, instead of giving away cash, is to simply carry food cards to local grocery stores or restaurants with you. One thing I do now is to keep a box of soft granola bars in my car to hand to the men and women who stand on the street at the intersections. They always receive it with a big “thank you” and “God bless.”

In giving freely, or asking God to help you to begin to learn give freely, you will find that blessings will return to you. That’s something I’m starting to learn, even if I had to get there kicking and screaming. Give freely, because we’ve received freely and you will be blessed abundantly today and into eternity.