Looking for Proof from God: Lent IV

Text: John 9:1-41 It is very possible for us to be victims of religion, and specifically the institution of religion. We can also be victims to our own religious ideals, especially when we have religions notions about God that seek to put God in a box of our own making. Most of us do this, at one time or another, and so we expect God to act and do as we think God ought to act and do. We then determine whether or not God has come up short. When I was a graduate student I went through a series of faith crises, each one seemingly worse than the next, for a whole host of reasons, but one of the most outrageous things I did was spend several months during one of those crises, absolutely begging and pleading with God to show me a sign of God’s existence. My faith had become so full of doubt and fear that I felt the only way it could be remedied was if God showed me an actual real – life sign, a vision, a miracle, or some kind of proof that God existed. I should have known better because as children, my little sister, who is three years younger than I, started having doubts about God’s existence and she did the same thing. One night up in our bedroom, she and I were praying together and she said, “God, if you really exist, show me a sign of your existence, so I can believe in you.” We went to sleep and we were abruptly awoken by a doozie of an earthquake at about 4am. No one was hurt, but it was enough to really shake and scare us. As we were getting ready for school later that morning I said to her, “You know, it kind of seems like that earthquake could be God’s answer to your prayer…the evidence you asked for God’s existence.” She responded, “No it wasn’t, that was just an earthquake.” Now my point here isn’t to argue the idea one way or another, because I don’t know what to make of it even today. But as I pondered it, I wondered what proof would have convinced my sister, and I realized that there probably wasn’t much in the way of proof that would ultimately convince her, short of an appearance by Jesus in all his glory, and I didn’t think that was likely to happen. What it taught me is that asking for proof from God is a very tricky thing. Despite this experience, as I said, I went through a season of begging God for some proof during one of my faith crises. I had some specific ideas in mind of course….I wanted a vision, a real honest to goodness mystical vision of God’s presence. One night, at the peak of this crisis, I was alone in my car, crying and sobbing and asking God, yet again, to just show me something, something to prove God really existed. I remember saying, “If you’re really there and you really love me, please show me!” It was horrible. I sat in silence for quite awhile in my dark car that night and nothing happened. I started to cry again. And then, suddenly, it started to rain, lightly at first, just tapping my windshield, and then it started coming down hard and poured heavy on the roof of my car. For a moment then, it felt like maybe God was there and was crying with me, and this rain was a sign indeed. And then “no” I thought, it’s just rain…and it was going to rain anyway, it doesn’t mean anything. Asking God for proof is tricky thing. When we look at the religious leaders as portrayed in our Gospel lesson from John today, we see a group of people who have very specific, religious views of God. God really must fit into their box, their set of beliefs about God. Certainly they were not about to believe that Jesus was the Messiah without some kind of incontrovertible proof, some undeniable sign. I hope you caught the humor in this story because the multiple conversations the leaders have with the blind man are full of the ridiculous and of sarcasm. This blind man is miraculously healed and given his sight by Jesus when he responds to Jesus in faith, by washing his eyes in the pool of Siloam, but the religious leaders harass this man to no end. They harass him because this miracle doesn’t fit in their “box” or their understanding of God. For one thing, the miracle happened on the Sabbath, and surely God wouldn’t work or “heal” on the Sabbath, that was against the religious law. Or maybe, they thought, this man wasn’t really born blind, because how could a “sinner” perform such a healing without God’s help? There must be some kind of mix up or an outright lie. They even go so far as to get a hold of the man’s parents to see if he truly was born blind, but when the parents tell them the truth, they can’t accept their answer either. Nothing the man says can convince them, despite multiple conversations. And in fact, no answer was ever going to be good enough for them, because no sign can bring about faith in one who is spiritually blind and lacks faith. Jesus was acting outside of their preconceived religious notions about God, and therefore this miracle, and Jesus himself, had to be rejected. The miracle wasn’t a sign or proof, it was just a mix up or a hoax. I wonder how often our preconceived notions about God get in the way of us having genuine faith. We too so often walk around blind like these religious leaders, but we don’t know it. We are only able to “see” God the way we have predetermined God to be and act. If God doesn’t conform to our notions, then God either doesn’t exist or is not to be trusted. Anything and everything can or is given an alternative explanation. Whatever happens can always, always be chalked up to coincidence of course. Right now our world is in a huge state of change and flux. Its’ scary. The last several years have been turned the stability of our nation upside down. As we look at nations all around us and a;; the war and turmoil, and the devastation in places like New Zealand and Japan and elsewhere, we may find ourselves hard pressed to maintain faith, to see God. Our view of God is shaken and we may desire some proof of God’s benevolence, or even of God’s existence, in the midst of it all. I do not have all the answers, but Jesus has shown us that God is always on the side of healing and reconciliation, even if it doesn’t come on our timeline or in the way we expected. But as long as we insist on God doing and acting in ways we demand and expect, we will remain blind, just as the Pharisees remained blind to Jesus. In Lent we are called to examine ourselves and to repent where needed, and it may be that we need to repent of putting God into a box of our own making as individuals, as a nation, and as a global community. In our blindness, we may be failing to see what God is showing us, things that are right in front of us. Our demand for proof is no use. And so together we can pray, “Lord we are blind in so many ways; give us eyes to see you and to recognize your presence in your many unexpected ways, now and always.” Amen.